Archive for the ‘Perry Hazeltine’ Category

Dealing with Difficult Emotions through Mindfulness

Sunday, September 7th, 2014

Beginning in October I am offering  Exploring Mindfulness,  an eight-session book discussion and support group for starting, re-starting or maintaining the practice of mindfulness.

mindful1Mindfulness can be described simply as seeing clearly in the here and now. I chose Pema Chödrön’s book When Things Fall Apart as our guide because, through this book, she is a calm and reassuring voice in helping us to accept life as it is.  She is also a clear and articulate teacher with practical guidance for facing our fears, anger and loneliness.  I find her approach, which comes from the Buddhist tradition, to be extremely relevant to psychology and therapy as we practice it today.

 

Beginning on October 3, 2014 there will be the opportunity to take this class in person and/or through an online discussion.  One can choose from a Friday or Saturday morning class, or through a blog discussion that I will post each Saturday morning. The post will correspond to what will be covered in the Friday/Saturday classes.  One could choose to participate via the blog discussions alone, or through some combination of the blog and in person.  The minimal expectation is to read the book, but everyone is strongly encouraged to commit to a daily mindfulness meditation practice for 90 days (10/3 -12/31). It is okay if it is only five minutes a day—establishing a habit is the key to developing mindful awareness in a way that will make a difference in ones life.

In order to support a 90 day practice, after the first six sessions the next two sessions will be spaced two weeks apart.  After that there will be two more blog discussions every other week.

Each sessions will include three parts:  1) a teaching from the book or audio/visual from Pema Chödrön or some other teacher in the Shambhala school from which she comes; 2) a guided meditation practice; 3) questions, discussion and support for developing a practice.

Schedule

Fridays 7:10am – 8:40 am Saturdays 9:00am – 10:30 am In-Person Class /Online Comment
10/3/14 10/4/14 In-Person & Online
10/10/14 10/11/14 In-Person & Online
10/17/14 10/18/14 In-Person & Online
10/24/14 10/25/14 In-Person & Online
10/31/14 11/1/14 In-Person & Online
11/7/14 11/7/14 In-Person & Online
11/14/14 11/15/14 None
11/21/14 11/22/14 In-Person & Online
11/28/14 11/29/14 None Thanksgiving Week
12/5/14 12/6/14 In-Person & Online
12/12/14 12/12/14 None
12/19/14 12/19/14 Online Only Christmas Week
12/26/14 12/26/14 None
Wednesday 12/31/14 Online Only 90th Day

Each group is approximately one hour and twenty minutes from the time we begin.  I have designed it so that if you can only stay an hour you can leave after the meditation practice and before the discussion.  In order to maintain the necessary concentration, though, I ask that an effort be made by each person to not arrive or leave from the start of the teaching to the completion of the meditation.

There is no cost per se, but each participant in the class is welcome to offer up to $5 per class.  Money will not be formally collected but can be placed in the “hat”.

 Location

The classes will be held at 227 North Duke Street in the city of Lancaster—halfway between Walnut & Chestnut on the left hand side. My name is on the shingle. Once in the building the group room is the 1st door to the left.   It is on-street parking and meters require 6 quarters for an hour after 8am but not on Saturdays.  I always keep quarters handy.  Lemon Street is 1 ½ blocks away and there are no meters there.

Please contact me at phazeltine@gmail.com to let me know that you’d like to take part and I will send you the necessary information and answer any questions you have.

To learn more about Pema Chödrön click on her name. If you scroll down you can watch a YouTube video of Pema being interviewed by Bill Moyers as part of his Faith and Reason series.  To order the book click this title, When Things Fall Apart.

To find out more about by therapy practice go to HOME        http://perryhazeltine.blogspot.com/

Ministry Assessment Program (MAP)

Friday, June 15th, 2012

In addition to my work as a therapist in my own practice, I coordinate the Ministry Assessment Program (MAP) at the Samaritan Counseling Center where I have worked for sixteen years. MAP assists leaders in various religious denominations to discern which candidates seeking ordination have an authentic vocation in ministry and are psychologically and emotionally sound enough to proceed. Our evaluations are just one part of a rigorous vetting and formation process.  It can go on for several years with personal, academic, and theological reviews and tests at different stages along the way.

You can imagine, then, what it feels like to be a candidate coming to a psychologist for an interview about very personal things and to undergo extensive psychological testing—intimidating to say the least.  It is important then, that the evaluator approaches this process with respect and consideration for the feelings and privacy of the candidate.  The fact is that the vast majority of those who come before us are sound psychologically and many are talented and experienced to boot.  We hope, then, to give them something for their trouble— to create  an experience for  them that will help them to better understand themselves and to help them grow while at the same time encouraging  them.

Sometimes candidates have an experience during the process that is not all that different than what clients experience in therapy.  Though the expressed purpose of the process is evaluative not therapeutic, in my experience some of the best assessments turn out to be therapeutic as well. If I listen to the candidate attentively and appreciatively, candidates often find the words to say who they really are and why they are on their particular spiritual journey.

I am reminded of a young man who was surprised to find his eyes filling up with tears when he told me about how deeply affected he was by the hymns in his childhood church. “I had a lot of energy “, he recalled, “was nervous and insecure.  The songs told me that I and other people were important.” I wanted to get across, in the report, the depth of the emotional connection with God and others that he conveyed to me. I wrote, “Music seems tap in to his emotional and spiritual core—the part of his experience that he finds hard to articulate.”  It wasn’t that he felt called to music ministry. He is an energetic advocate for social justice who sees evangelism as creating a sense of community outside the church walls in the inner-city neighborhood of his church.  His high energy, though, could at times be a liability—sometimes leaving him tense and restless. Music was a potentially quieting experience for him and a pathway of his spiritual life.  One of the recommendations I gave was, then, for him to “foster this part of himself, perhaps through using music as a regular practice of prayer.”

I hope that I am getting across that a good assessment captures the “person” not just data—that in the right environment candidates sense it is safe to talk about what’s most important to them.  And as one would expect in this work what is most important is often a meaningful  relationship with God and others, or the sense of being a part of “something larger than oneself”.  As I wrote in a previous post on therapy and spirituality,  I hope to grasp  “something in the client’s voice, cadence or metaphors that suggest something of faith. And with patience and gentleness the therapist, without being intrusive, may welcome the subtle spirit into the session”.  It is not the role of a psychological evaluation to judge a person’s theology or beliefs, but I would fail to know them if I did not come to understand what these things mean to them.

I have learned to take the stance that  James and Melissa Griffith wrote about in their book  Encountering the Sacred in Psychotherapy: How to talk with people about their spiritual lives. They try to “stay in the position of an anthropologist meeting another person in an unknown culture….The skills most helpful for opening therapy to the spiritual and religious domains have been those for preparing our own selves to meet someone not yet known- the fostering within ourselves of curiosity, wonder and openness to the being of the other.”

As the  candidates receive feedback several weeks later and eventually a copy of the final report, we hope to mirror back to them their hopes, fears, gifts as well as the places they may be in  need of healing or growth. When we are successful,  we have done it in a way to preserves their dignity and they feel like we “got them”.

 

 

 

 

“Nice Jacket!”

Sunday, January 8th, 2012

I ran into a friend at the open air Eastern Market yesterday.  Because it was a Spring like day in early January we stood outside awhile and had a meandering conversation.  Somehow we got talking about cognitive/behavioral psychology and how, though it is a fruitful theory for creating effective therapy, it is somehow lacking in capturing the beauty of irrational thinking which is part of why we are so lovable and able to love.  In other words, the same irrational thinking that can cause us so much suffering (for example, painful self-consciousness that leads one to automatically assume that others are being critical) can also create the kind of quirkiness that engenders affection.

I must say, first of all, that I realize the trouble that faulty thinking can cause.  A benign example of the kind of thinking that can lead to trouble happened today when my daughter, Hannah, and I were walking our dog, Oliver, downtown.  A guy stepped out of House of Pizza, smiled at us and asked us how we were.  As we walked on Hannah heard him say, “I like your jacket”, followed by a laugh.  She looked at me and asked if I thought he was laughing about my jacket or hers.  You see she was wearing her  pilly and oversized granny-sweater. I, for my part, was, wearing my wife’s jacket since mine was in the laundry.  Hannah boasted that she didn’t care since she loved the sweater and it wasn’t first time someone insulted it.   I figured he was laughing at me, since it’s the kind of thing a guy might laugh at, (though I must admit Hannah’s sweater was pretty ratty).

Hannah did admit surprise, however, since he had seemed so authentically friendly at first.  I pointed out that since I left middle school it’s been pretty rare that some one randomly makes fun of me.  With that we went on our way.

When we arrived at my office Hannah happened to look down at Oliver and suddenly realized the man had been talking to him.  Oliver was, as we knew, wearing a jaunty red jacket.  Some how, though,  we each managed to leave that little piece of information out of our analysis.  In addition, the fact that the man had been friendly and that we were not in middle school did not sufficiently sway us from the  distorted perception of what he was saying. Our pre-conceived ideas about how someone might judge our jackets led to our mistakes.  In this  case the preconception was a negative self-reference.  Not much harm done here, but imagine if such things  won the day—if, for example, one’s low self-esteem multiplied itself by seeing negative comments everywhere.   This is where  cognitive therapy is extremely helpful—to help people learn to recognize, and to scrutinize negative thoughts as opposed to swallowing them whole.

It is humbling to find, as Hannah and I did, that even a reasonable analysis leads to the wrong conclusion when important information is ignored.  But back to the idea I introduced at the beginning,  that this faulty thinking is often what endears us to one another.

To illustrate this point ,I have created a link to a story I heard this week on the public radio program This American Life.  It is about a woman who comes up with an ill-advised scheme out of love for her adult son who has Asperger’s Syndrome and out of a simplistic belief in the goodness of people.  She advertises to find people to volunteer to companion her son for the long haul. The scheme fails after the woman devoted a huge amount of time and energy to it.  It is easy to see the misconceptions on which her plan was based, but it is even easier to see the love for her son, and the seriousness with which she accepted the responsibility that comes with  that love.  It is this sort of crazy love that defines us, in the end, more than our cognitive functioning or, as in the case of Hannah and I,  the lack thereof.

To listen to the story  click:  http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/420/neighborhood-watch and then choose Act 1: Wary Home Companion.